Our most devoted cheerleader

It's been over a week since we got the news that Aunt Pam had passed away unexpectedly. For a variety of reasons, I couldn't put "pen to paper" until today, sitting in her house among her things with the morning sun shining in (finding it rather rude that the sun has the nerve to shine so bright today). It's hard to explain why the loss of my aunt-in-law is so great, though if you're a faithful reader I'm sure you've heard Pam's name showered throughout our memories. Pam was our close friend, first and foremost. She was our most devoted cheerleader, our caregiver, our reluctant matriarch. She was our host for countless summer days, winter weekends, wedding showers, baby showers, and so many birthdays. She was there for us with wedding planning, hospital visits to meet new babies, sporting events, and concerts. She was our link to the past.

Pam saw us at our best and our absolute worst (oh the stories I could share) and loved us all the more. She was there for nearly all the big moments in our lives and infinitely many small ones. She was a solid presence, and I think what struck me this week was how much joy she brought us simply because she delighted so greatly in who we are.

Because of all that, we have so many memories and I wish I could write them all down. But here are just a few.

• I met Pam on a late evening in May when Kevin suggested at the last minute we drive over from WMU's campus. Because that's what college students do, I guess! She was wearing her bathrobe (long-sleeved and floor-length, always) drinking Pepsi in the kitchen, and I was a little embarrassed to show up unannounced. I didn't know then that Kevin was as much at home at their house as his own. Pam welcomed me like I was family that night and every day since.

• In the last months before our wedding, I student taught at a rural school about 40 minutes from campus but a relatively short drive from Pam's. To save some driving time, I would stay overnight with Pam on Wednesdays. I had never watched The Bachelor in my life, but there was a girl on that year from Kalamazoo so we decided to watch until she was kicked off. She was one of the two finalists (if that's what you call it - it's been awhile) so we ended up watching the whole season. There was a lot of deep analysis of relationships and a lot of laughter.

• The first Thanksgiving after we moved to Grand Ledge, we attempted to host dinner for both our families and Pam stayed with us for a couple of days. The night before Thanksgiving, probably around midnight, I went to take the turkey out of the fridge and discovered it was still partially frozen. And also that I knew nothing about raw turkeys. I just remember Pam and John falling out of their seats laughing while I tried to thaw it, remove the neck and whatnot (I nearly fainted), and figure out with some difficulty which end was which.

• A favorite memory for me as I reflected this week has been Christmas a couple of years ago. Pam was planning to stay Christmas Eve night, but we were watching a big snowstorm forecast and Kevin convinced her to come a few days early. She got to be there for cookie baking and decorating, gift wrapping, and the general frenzy of Christmas at the Wernet house. She was our first real guest in the office bedroom (that we set up when Nellie broke her leg the second time). The storm did hit, so Pam ended up staying through Christmas and several days past. When she was finally able to go home, I remember how, after all the craziness of the week, and regardless of the fact that our house was still full of people, it seemed a little empty without Pam there. She'd stayed much longer than anyone had planned, and we missed her.

And although we can rejoice that we will see Pam again, we miss her now, and I am sure we always will. 

Some favorite photos, in no particular order: