"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2nd Corinthians 4:17-18
Through the course of a month, these verses came up repeatedly in different blogs, devotions, and sermons I encountered. And it was good timing, because it was a pretty bad month. I'm not sure there's a better way to put it! That's one reason for ignoring the blog a bit--not because nothing has been happening, but because too much seems to be happening. But having muddled through (for now), I can look back and reflect on some lessons learned.
Really, it started with the lice. We had been getting notes from Nellie's school every few days that another case of lice had been discovered, so I guess it was really only a matter of time. Sure enough, I found one on DJ, which was a sure sign that someone ELSE had them, because where in the heck would DJ pick up lice? I could go on and on about this experience, but mostly it was just a huge amount of WORK. So. Much. Laundry. You kind of have to wash and dry everything in the house (and car, and just everywhere), on high heat. Not to mention the hair treatments, though I did lots of online research and found natural remedies that were really effective for us. So if you happen to be reading this and, like the former me, secretly think that Good Families Don't Have Lice, beware.
The day after the first round of lice treatments, we found out that the daughter of a family friend had died, suddenly and tragically. Again, there's a lot I want to say, but I'm not sure I can put it into words. I remember standing in the kitchen and hearing the news over the phone, and all I could think was, "I can't un-know this. I can't ever not know that the world is unkind, and I cannot control what happens to my children." The morning of the visitation, our sump pump broke (very minor drama by comparison, though it meant an unanticipated expense and a morning off work for Kevin). On the way to the visitation, the car broke down. It got to the point where I just kind of expected the next piece of bad news!
And it didn't really let up. A few days later, I came down with the stomach flu for a good three days (though I didn't really know that's what it was until later). It was at the same time as the Boston Marathon bombings and subsequent manhunt that kept us glued to the news for updates. Finally, on Saturday night (this was April 20) I was finally feeling better and I got to leave the house to celebrate Alex's birthday, but it didn't last long! DJ starting throwing up at the party, and we had to make a quick getaway. Both of the girls got sick before they made it to bed. That was the last time they left the house until the NEXT Saturday. I have never seen the kids so terribly sick. Whatever the virus was, it moved s-l-0-w-l-y. Nellie was still throwing up on Thursday, and missed an entire week of school. Again, with the laundry. I washed all the sheets in the house, every day, for a week. And not because I was being fastidious, but because they were covered with some kind of bodily fluid. It was, as Nellie put it, not fun.
Let's just say, the month of April almost did me in. But those verses...it took awhile but finally it started to sink in. I couldn't - literally could not - focus on all these "light and momentary troubles" or I would surely fall into dispair. As it was, I was utterly close to dispair several times. But in meditating on these verses, I started to think about what was going on in the background, sort of like relief art or something. In fact, I thought of it as "seeing in relief." The bad stuff was so clear, so apparent, so visible. But there were a great many blessings that kind of blended in with their surroundings, waiting to be recognized.
Like discovering the lice problem at just the right time, before a major outbreak was likely (I know a lot about the life cycle of the louse, now, if you're curious). Or going to the dentist (while I was sick) with the whole family, and everyone was cavity-free. Plus the (modest) tax return came in the day before said appointments, and also just in time to pay for the car repair. Getting sick was no fun, but I am SO GLAD that I had it first, and was feeling better when the kids got sick. And there were even sweet moments in the crazy week of illness - a lot of togetherness, a lot of cuddling and rest (though there were also a few up-at-nights), and marital teamwork.
I don't pretend to understand why everything happened the way it did, but I feel like I came out a little different, somehow. Maybe a bit tougher or more resilient, but mostly, more prone to look for the unseen good stuff, the many little gifts tucked around, or emerging from, the troubles. I need to remember to look beyond and behind the present circumstances, because there is most certainly more to see that holds an eternal weight. It might take the rest of my life to keep practicing this kind of seeing. But it's in writing now, so no excuses.
