It's obvious that my first baby child would also be my first adult child, but it still seems strange somehow. Nellie is a bit of a paradox of her own, though. Fiercely independent but prefers to be around people. Marches to the beat of her own drum (forever) but led the band as drum major. Is registered to take both organic chemistry and music theory in her first semester at MSU.
An 18th birthday is a little bittersweet as we look toward big changes in our everyday family life next year! Nellie is headed to MSU to study plant biology and flute performance. She'll live on campus, so the discussion of who gets their own room(s) is on and heated. Looking at the past year, it has been FULL of activity and excitement. She was head drum major in the marching band and took three AP classes. She spent many many hours applying to colleges and writing essays and scholarship applications. She practiced flute endlessly to prepare for music school auditions, and made it into the All-State Band. She auditioned, and then she waited. She saw the fruits of her labor. We celebrated. Through all of it, we watched Nellie's friendships grow and her values and beliefs deepen and most of all, we enjoyed our time with her. She's learned a lot, and like all of us, has a lot to learn. But - she is headed out into the world, and she is ready!
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| The old days |
This is it! Your last interview. I really only have a couple of questions. First, you're going to meet so many new people who don't know your family or your childhood. So - what's your elevator speech? What was it like to grow up as a Wernet?
Growing up in a big family is a blessing and curse in many ways, especially being the oldest child. From a young age I had a lot of responsibility. I've been treated like an adult for a long time so turning 18 doesn't feel that different in that respect! Our family is really weird and silly and goofy. But underlying that is a lot of love. As annoying as you and Dad can get sometimes - well let's just say in some ways it's a Christian, traditional household, but we're also a random, out-of-pocket, funny family in some ways. Like one day you won't let me go to the mall because I haven't spent enough time at home, then then next I'm telling a friend about something that happened and they're like, "I would never get away with that at my house!"
Having a lot of younger siblings is really nice because there's no limit to the possibilities on what you can do. You can max out your characters on Mario Kart or play 2v2 basketball. If you want to do something - take a walk after dinner, go to the library at the last minute - someone will want to go with you. It was really nice growing up watching the rest of my siblings grow up. Lately, for example, DJ seems really grown up and he, Annie, and I can hang out as friends. Watching them grow and change and mature has been really interesting. Annie is probably my best friend, ever, which is really cool.
I will say, there have been a lot of rules and restrictions on ME that I'll bet the other kids aren't going to have. 😏 And it was interesting being the only kid at Grand Ledge while the others were at LCS. I think my experience in our family will be unique.
So if I had to sum up our family, the title of your blog is pretty apt. We say we're not that crazy, but kind of...we are. And that's a beautiful thing.
What advice do you have for Annie, DJ, Eddie, and Mary as you "move on?"
Don't forget your favorite sister! To the oldest three, don't let Mary get away with too much. To Annie, you're the oldest now, and that comes with responsibility. I think you'll have an easier go of it, though. Going into junior and senior year, try not to stress out too much because there are a lot of things that seem really big that aren't that important. You're passionate about and talented in lots of things, and that can be hard because you're trying to divide your time. Take deep breaths, find balance. I'm only a call away if you ever need me!
To DJ, I would say take it easy, be chill. I think we're similar in the sense that we feel a strong sense of responsibility for what the younger siblings do, and that can mean bossiness and control issues. It's all going to be okay. You are the one thing in life you can control! And that's okay. You have a great mind. You're really smart, so that's going to take you far so don't get hit in the head with a baseball and you should be fine.
To Eddie, don't let yourself be overlooked! Your siblings might shine brightly and you're stuck in the middle, which can be tough, but you're the funniest person I know and weird and goofy. You offer something to the world no one else does. Speak up, feel your feelings. You're capable of just as much as the rest of us even with your big, bold siblings.
To Mary, you are a fiery person. Don't let that fire burn out but don't let it turn into a wildfire. Stay sassy, stay bold, stay bright. That will take you far in life! But know your limits and when to reign it in. You've always been our "sweet and spicy" girl. Be content, find joy. Don't let yourself get spoiled! I love how excited you are about nature and being outdoors, hunting and fishing, and music! Stay wild!
All of you - be grateful, live in the moment. Not everyone gets the family experience we do and a lot of people are worse off. Be present and don't take it for granted. It's going to be over before you know it!
Thinking back on the last 18 years, what are some core experiences that you recognize as being formational for you in getting to this point?
The most obvious one for me is breaking my leg, and then the covid era but those are wrapped up and intertwined in my mind. It was so awful in the moment, but it shaped me the most. It taught me about pain, relying on others, asking for help, needing to lean on people. All experiences, even the painful ones, are inherently beneficial. Our lives are a culmination of everything we've experienced on earth. Everything I've done, everyone I've met, everything that's happened, shaped me into the person I am now. So I don't think I would really change anything.
Freshman year band camp really cemented a lot of the most important friendships I have and set me up for high school - all the people I would be friends with and my love for music.
Being in a romantic relationship taught me a lot about love and life and balance. I learned a lot about relationships.
Experiencing the death of a close family member for the first time with Aunt Pam passing away.
Transferring to Grand Ledge from LCS was really hard in the beginning. I had a lot of anxiety, middle school was really tough. But in the end, I'm so glad I stayed. It was a blessing in disguise. People say God doesn't give you the path you want, he gives you the path that's right. I see that as God working in my life.
Many of these things weren't "good," they were hard, but they were right. I learned a lot about life. I view them as lessons, now.
Where do you hope to be in 10 years? What do you hope to be doing? What kind of person do you hope to be?
Well, 10 years...I'll be 28. I hope I'm married, or close to married. In a healthy relationship. But - I don't know, maybe no kids yet! I hope to be out of college and grad school. I hope to have a meaningful job, working in something that's good and helpful for others and the environment. Something impactful. I hope to still be close with all you guys and with my friends. I want to still talk to my high school friends.
I want to be the kind of person who is passionate and determined. [I'm not worried about her not being that.] Who strives to do good and be good in my everyday life. I hope to still be the cool older sister, someone to look up to. [It's already wild to me how much Nellie's decisions, like being in band or trying out for that first musical, have influenced the other kids' interests.]
I think that's it. Is there a final question? [Do you want there to be? Any last words?]
I'm grateful to everything who's read all these birthday interviews! Who have watched me grow up. All the grandparents and aunts and uncles and family friends who have supported our family and me. Thanks for sticking it out, for having faith in me and seeing good when I can't see it myself. I love all of you!
We love you, Nellie.
