40 years with Grandpa

Throughout adulthood, I've felt grateful over and over that the past few generations in my family had kids young so that I had so much good time to experience life with my grandparents. My Grandpa Tuinstra (or Papa Roger, as the kids knew him) passed away this week, and it's been lovely to reflect and remember and share stories of my 40 years with Grandpa. 

As a kid, my grandparents generously provided all kinds of experiences we likely wouldn't have had otherwise. There were trips to Cedar Point with all my aunts and uncles and cousins, when my siblings and I would stand on the corner and wait to see the motorhome coming down the road. There were visits to stay in their condo in Florida, where we would play SeaWorld in the pool and Grandpa would be Shamu. Erin and I visited twice on our own when I was 7 and 9. They had a cottage in Cadillac and we spent many many days swimming, boating with Grandpa behind the wheel, and playing horseshoes. They would take my cousin, Katie, and I up for the winter festival and we'd take carriage rides and see the ice sculptures. These memories live like magic in my mind.

Grandma and Grandpa showed up for concerts, birthdays, and graduations - and all the events in between. They would visit me at college to take me out for dinner and shopping at the mall, and get to know my boyfriend (Kevin). They were at my college graduation and wedding and cheered me on when I ran a half marathon in Traverse City. We took family bike rides on beautiful Michigan trails, and Grandpa still took everyone on family vacations--he rented vans to drive us to Cedar Point and we spent a weekend on Mackinac Island.

And then came the babies. My grandpa was the old-school variety who treated pregnant ladies with kid gloves. I remember when we were in Mackinac Island, he didn't want me to walk the half-mile to the hotel so he hired a carriage for me. (The driver turned around and asked, "Who are you, the princess or something?" I was like, "I'm 8 months pregnant...?") My mom and I took a spontaneous visit to Florida to visit my grandparents when I was pregnant with Eddie. I will never forget how every morning, he served me breakfast - an English muffin with peanut butter and grapefruit with the segments pre-cut. It was such a kind gesture when I was so used to caring for others as a mother of three. With each baby, my grandpa and grandma came to visit as soon as they could, and Grandpa was always a newborn favorite. There were lots of visits "for coffee" when Nellie and Annie were little and I was at home or early in graduate school and the rest of the world was at work. Most times, we would just sit and chat and watch Nellie play. In the summers, we'd go to Grandville for walks to the park and playing with all the best old toys they'd held onto. Later, Grandma and Grandpa came for Grandparents Day at school and attended the girls' musicals. The last I saw him healthy was at Nellie's Willy Wonka show, just before the pandemic hit.

When I imagine my grandpa, I hear the quiet way he read children's books to me and then to the kids, and I picture the super chill way he held our babies. But the most remarkable thing about him is how he loved us. Grandparents are uniquely situated to make us feel loved unconditionally, and he lived into that role perfectly. Through the upheaval and turmoil in our world and in our lives, my grandpa could make us feel that we were enough in the way he was always happy to see us, always happy to hear from us. I'm thankful for every visit and fun trip, but I'm most thankful to simply have known him and to have had so much time. Love you, Grandpa! See you on the other side.