Kids give us a mirror for ourselves

Nellie is playing a game on the iPad, and DJ is sitting next to her talking nonstop. Nellie just told him, "DJ. I am feeling overwhelmed by the iPad right now. It is driving me crazy. I just need to think about this for a minute." DJ responded, "Okay, me too!"

I heard my own voice in Nellie's, but it said something like this: Children. I am feeling overwhelmed by [fill in the blank--writing this paper/making this dinner/calming this crying baby/fixing this broken thing/figuring out where this toddler can go potty/choosing the right grocery item/paying this bill] right now. And you are all talking to me at the same time. It is driving me crazy. I just need to think about this for a minute.

And that's how it goes.

Things the daughters of a nature educator say

Annie was playing in the backyard when she stopped suddenly and told me she had almost stepped in "dog scat."
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On the way home from a back-to-school picnic tonight, Nellie announced that she wants me to have twins. I asked her how she thinks twins are made. Here's her description:

"The first twin baby decides it wants to be a twin. It pulls off its arm and sticks it in its chest and it separates. Then its arm regenerates, and that's how you get twins. I know what regeneration is because I read it in a book about salamanders."

Mad Season

My trip to church on Sunday went something like this:

I woke up at 5:00 with Eddie. He went back to sleep, I couldn't, so I listened to him breathe and dozed on and off until 7:00. I woke up, but the kitchen was such a mess and the dishes were piled so high that I couldn't make the coffee. So I spent 30 minutes emptying and reloading (always a little depressing) the dishwasher and scrubbing pots. Eventually I made the coffee and got Annie, my niece Alli, and DJ their milk and breakfast. Things were going smoothly, we'd all woken up plenty early for a 9:30 service, etc., etc. But by the time everyone was dressed, hair brushed, diapers changed, babies nursed, makeup applied, diaper bag packed, and favorite stuffed animals located, it was 9:30, and we were late.

We rolled into the parking lot (slowly, because the van is making terrible noises with every left turn) at 9:40. Dad went to take DJ to his class, I got seats with the girls. I sang half a song, but Alli was throwing her stuffed dog high in the air and banked her head on the pew. During the announcements, the girls opened the hymnals and loudly pretended to sing the songs. DJ and my dad returned around 9:45. He had refused to go in the nursery, saying "I need-a mine-a mom, weewy (really) bad!" So there we all were. Eddie started fussing in his car seat, so we shuffled around so I could take him out and hold him. One more song, and it was time for the girls to go to Sunday school. The sermon started, and Eddie pooped very loudly--as in, it was most definitely audible to everyone in our section. People chuckled. He started getting upset. It was one of those situations where I had to get out as soon as possible before he really started to wail...but because I also had to take DJ with me [C'mon DJ! No, keep walking. You have to keep going! All the way to the door! Please DJ, just keep walking. I can't carry you, I have to carry Eddie. C'mon, please keep walking!]...I didn't make it. Crying infant, whining toddler, quiet church. Stopped for a drink at the drinking fountain [I need-a some water, weewy bad!] and went to the bathroom to change Eddie and help DJ go potty. We ducked into the cry room where I fed Eddie while I half listened to the sermon, half told knock-knock jokes with DJ. As I packed up the diaper bag, I saw people getting up through the one-way window and realized the service was over.

I had to go back in the sanctuary to get the car seat, and started talking to the pastor's wife. I relayed some of this story, and she reminded me that it's just the season we're in. And she's right. I know she's right, because as I wrote this I remembered a friend's blog post--one of my favorites--with a very similar story, and now her kids are so big! And I'll bet they sit quietly in church without climbing around on the pews. And they're long out of diapers, and they need their mom but in different ways, and they dress themselves and buckle their own seat belts and aren't afraid of public toilets that automatically flush. I know I should appreciate all these moments with a light heart and misty eyes, because they're fleeting. And I do, kind of.

But it still made me think of Matchbox 20, because this is a mad season, indeed.

Like aunts, like daughter

In the car, I overheard Nellie asking Annie,

"Why have toys when you can have books?"

DJ's knock-knock jokes

DJ: KNOCK! KNOCK!   [Gestures knocking, but with such enthusiasm he almost punches you in the face.]
Me: Who's there?
DJ: Banana.
Me: Banana who?
DJ: Banana....Daddy!   [Laughs hysterically.]

DJ: KNOCK! KNOCK!
Kevin: Who's there?
DJ: Orange.
Kevin: Orange who?
DJ: Orange....Mommy!   [Laughs hysterically.]

DJ: KNOCK! KNOCK!
Me: Who's there?
DJ: Banana Nellie.
Me: Banana Nellie who?
DJ:  [Does a one-foot-in-the-air trick. Laughs hysterically.]

And just for fun, Annie's knock-knock joke--
Annie: Knock knock.
Kevin: Who's there?
Annie: Orange.
Kevin: Orange who?
Annie: Orange!
Kevin: Orange who?
Annie: Orange!
Kevin: Orange who?
Annie: Knock knock.
Kevin: Who's there?
Annie: Banana.
Kevin: Banana who?
Annie: Banana-ya glad I didn't say orange?

How cute is this baby?

Probably dreaming about a joke Nellie told him

Edmund is almost two months old now (and when I took these pictures--those are actually 3-6 month pajamas he's wearing), so I should catch up on his one-month checkup. He was 22.2 inches long and 11 lbs. 3 oz. That means he's gaining about an ounce and a half a day. I think most of it's going to his cheeks! Ah! Be still my heart.

The color of grout

One of the girls' chores today was to "mop and scrub floors" together. I had to demonstrate what I meant by scrubbing. I acknowledge that I needed to demonstrate it because they've never before seen it actually modeled. Anyway, I mixed up some water, vinegar, and baking soda (also a fun science experiment) and scrubbed a bit of the floor. We were all quite surprised at how well it worked. The girls spent the next 45 minutes or so scrubbing the kitchen while I folded laundry. Here's some of what I heard from the other room:

Oh. My. Gosh. I did not know these lines are white.
If you scrub them really hard, they turn the color of pixie dust!
Mom, do you have two more brushes so we can ice skate like on Rapunzel?
Wait, you can actually put these on your feet. [I peeked--they had their feet stuck in the brush handles.] This way we can rest our arms! And when our feet get tired we can use our hands again!
Wait until Dad sees this. He is going to be SHOCKED when he finds out these lines are white.
We can do this all day.

The point is, don't eat off our floors if you have a weak immune system.

Gender roles

Scene: I am making tacos for dinner. We had just gotten home from work. Baby starts crying in his car seat.

Me: Hey Kev, can you hold the baby for a minute while I finish making dinner?

[A few minutes pass.]

Kevin: What a good baby! I just picked Edmund up and he fell right back to sleep.

Nellie, to Kevin: [Enthusiastic and 100% serious] Wow Dad, you're a great mom!

Kevin: Hey, dads can hold babies, too!

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.